Simplicity is Beauty | Perfectly Imperfect

When I was a child, I used to always see this wooden frame hanging on the wall at the dining area. Me, my sister and step-siblings grew up in my step-grandparent's home (step-grandparents because they're my step-dad's parents) and they were so strict about following the rules that they always let us read (esp. when we did something wrong) and do what was written on that wooden frame. All of us kids at the house always see it that we eventually memorized what was written on it. I searched the internet when I remembered and found the "Golden Rules of Living".

If you open it, close it.

If you turn it on, turn it off.

If you unlock it, lock it up.

If you break it, admit it.

If you can’ fix it, call in someone who can.

If you borrow it, return it.

If you value it, take care of it.

If you make a mess, clean it up.

If you move it, put it back.

If it belongs to someone else and you

want to use it, get permission.

If you don’t know how to operate it,

leave it alone.

If it’s none of your business, don’t

ask questions.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

If it will brighten someone’s day, say it.

If it will tarnish someone’s reputation,

keep it to yourself.

These were all written in that wooden frame. I grew up following these rules, and I'm unconsciously living by it (just found out about that now when I read these rules again). Maybe I should post these here in the house, it's so badly needed...

I had these dreams the other night that made me wake up twice. I remember the dreams but not every detail. The first dream I had was about my dead younger brother. He died of heart attack, or something like that, when he was only 13 yrs. old, Nov. 25th 2001 to be exact. In my dream, the doctor in the hospital said that he'll live but will be like a vegetable for the rest of his life, but he still died in my dream eventually after days or months. The next dream I had was about my husband. All the people in the house knew that he's dead except for me and they all didn't want to tell me that he died. I was waiting and waiting for him to come home.

I don't know what these dreams mean. I think I dreamed about my younger brother because I miss him. I think he just wanted to tell me that if he didn't died that day, he would just suffer. I sometimes wonder what he would be like if he's still around. And when I think of him, I cry sometimes. I have lot's of regrets, that I should have done this and that when he was still alive. About my husband, on the other hand, maybe my dream just means that I'm too afraid to lose him. Maybe the people in my dream didn't tell me he was dead because they know I'll be very very hurt if I knew. But in reality, I want to know even if it hurts so much.

Bad dreams huh? I rarely have dreams but these in one night? Gosh...I don't want to think about it anymore!

He sleeps late. Wakes up after lunch. Watches TV as soon as his eyes open. Eats lunch. Watches TV again. Play with his PSP. Play at the PC. Doodle with his cellphone. Watches TV again. Eats dinner. Plays again. Watches DVDS. Plays again until 4AM. This is his everyday routine when he's not busy with his girlfriend.

At 22, he's a super bum with nothing to do. He doesn't even think of anything. He doesn't go to school, he doesn't want to work, and he can't even help out in the house. He doesn't think of what will happen to his life if he continues to be like this. I don't know why he's like that. I don't know what he's thinking, especially when I talk to him, sermon him about certain things. Everyone in the house works hard, he's the only one who doesn't do anything. It's really a pain in the eye seeing him like this.

I think the only thing he's good at is going to heaven. He doesn't even have a single touch of shame when he does this. Even when my mom's home, whether there are many or few people in the house, he does this, "they" do this, going to heaven. I'm not saying don't do it, I've been there, I know. But there are certain things in life that you have to be discreet about. You don't have to show off these kind of things, and I always tell him that.

I'm just too concerned. I love him that's why I always do sermons. I don't know if he listens to what I always tell him. I don't know if he thinks about what I say to him. But the longer he does this routine and goes up there in heaven without shame, the higher is his fall. I know he'll slip and fall down. And when that happens, that's the time he'll learn his lesson. All the things that I or other concerned people said to him will come back. But it'll be too late...

Well, Christmas was great! It was the first time that everyone in the house had gifts for everyone too. The Christmas tree had so many gifts under it and it was just so nice to see. Even though all of us here in the house don't have enough money, we still gave each other presents. My husband and I spent Christmas Eve with his parents, after that, instead of sleeping there (which we always do), he decided that we come home. It was the first time too that this happened. I think last Christmas was the best. My mom and sister said that there was something last Christmas that was very peaceful. Everyone's happy and content.

Anyway, I received lot's of gifts! hahaha! Which I didn't expect. I had new slippers, chocolates, etc., but the best was the two USB Flash Drives that I got given by my best friend and step-brother. I was really touched and was teary-eyed when I opened their presents. It was in my wish list posted in a social networking page and they both noticed.

Really, Christmas was so great! It wasn't the gifts that made it very special. It was the people I was with and their happy faces. I will not forget Christmas 2007, the most memorable, happiest and peaceful Christmas of all.