Simplicity is Beauty | Perfectly Imperfect

Together Again

2008-08-22T21:10:00.003+08:00

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted...been busy lately...with my husband of course! He's here! He arrived last August 10th, lunch time, and gosh...he was so handsome as always...I missed him so much! His hair grew long, his skin fairer than mine, and he was so cool with his shades on, blue Billabong shirt and black Levi's pants. I'm so happy that after 6 months we're back together again. I know he'll be gone again soon because his vacation is only for 2 months max, so we must spend time together as much as possible to make up for the time he was abroad. We already went shopping and we had a swimming outing with his whole family last August 17. Tomorrow, we're going shopping again and on August 29th, we'll have a trip to the beach with my whole family for 5 days. We all missed him so much and all of us wanted to spend time with him. With all these activities planned, I haven't spent time with him alone, all for myself. But it's okay with me, I get to be alone with him at bedtime and it's the most important thing, hehehe...I just wish that before he leaves, I'm already pregnant...We both want to have a baby already...

Anyway, we just have to enjoy every minute with each other. Be happy together. I love my husband so much...

HP Pavilion DV2000

2008-06-05T11:37:00.006+08:00

My husband bought a laptop last week. He said the one we both really wanted (Sony Vaio) wasn't available so he ended up buying the HP Pavillion DV2000. I don't know anything about hardware but I think the specifications he told me wasn't bad at all...

Processor: AMD Turion(TM) 64 X2 Dual-Core Mobile Technology TL-60 (2.0 GHz)
Memory: 4GB DDR2 System Memory (2 Dimm)
Graphics Card: NVIDIA GeForce Go 7150M
Hard Drive: 250GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive

I don't know the other details but I think the main specs above is okay. It's just that I'm not a big big fan of the HP brand and AMD, maybe because I haven't used them yet. We've used Acer and Intel since the first time I learned to use a computer here at home up until now. Well, we'll see if this laptop's worth it. I'll have the chance to use it when my husband comes home in September. He really bought it for me so that I can have a PC to call my own. I really can't wait!

David vs David

2008-05-16T14:45:00.004+08:00

I knew it! It's the battle of the Davids! I knew Archuleta and Cook will be the ones remaining. Sure, Sayeesha Mercado has a great voice, but she doesn't have this thing that could draw people's attention, unlike Archuleta who seems always sincere while singing, and Cook who really makes the songs he sings very original.

Actually, I originally like Brook White and Carli Smithson, but they were eliminated, so I guess you have to pick the best from the ones that remained and I surely had my eyes on the two Davids. Now I don't know who will win, I like them both, this will be exciting!

Either way, I know the two of them are already stars and no matter who wins, surely these two will have a career in singing. Doors have already opened, not just for them but for all the other American Idol contestants (especially the Top 10).

Anyway, good luck to the idols. And may all your dreams come true!

Domestic Violence

2008-05-15T10:40:00.008+08:00

I came from a broken family...my parents separated when I was only 4 yrs. old. My mom had a new relationship the following year and they lived together after that. All was well at first then things started to change. One night the guy got drunk and he wanted to go out. My mom didn't let him because he was so drunk to go out and it was also so late. I woke up in the middle of the night because of the noise in the room. My mom was holding his arm trying to stop him from going out then he pushed her on the wall. That was the first incident I remember, I was only 5. We moved to the guy's parent's house the next year then we all saw his big horns from that day on. Whenever he's drunk, he would become a completely different person. He would beat my mother up, physically and mentally, and we can't do anything about it. We were kids, we were afraid, he was a big guy, and all we could do was hide whenever we see him drinking or pretend that we don't hear anything. Sometimes we get into the middle of the fight, try to stop him from beating my mom, but we just get verbally abused too, and all we can do was cry. Life was really hell...and from a young age, I know this has got to stop. When I became a teenager that was the time I started to fight back. I remember when I was 14, he was drunk again and they (he and my mom) were arguing in the room, we were sleeping and he was so loud (he was always loud), shouting here and there, that I got so pissed (woke up in the middle of the night again) that I intruded in their discussion and talked back to him. He was so mad that he grabbed my hair until I was out of bed then we fought. I was so mad too, I didn't care if he was bigger, all I knew was I should fight back! My mom was trying to stop him to the point that she hit him with an umbrella (the umbrella broke!). The next day, when he already had some sleep, not drunk anymore, he told my mom that he didn't liked how I glared at him the night before...that was the start of the "beating mom mellow down". I was the only one (there were 5 kids - 3 his and 2 mom's: me and my sister) who had the guts to fight back. He and my mom were together for more than 18 years before they separated. My mom learned to fight back too. They still fight until I was in college, but whenever he lays a hand on her, I was there to stop him. He backs away and stops hurting my mom when he sees me. He knew...because of these eyes...

Some story huh...a short version when our lives were in hell. According to statistics, 6 out of 10 women in my country alone are battered wives. 6 out of 10 families are at risk of becoming victims of family violence. Over a million women and children all over the world are victims of domestic violence. Despite the landmark passage of Republic Act (RA) No. 9262 (Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act) in 2004 which criminalizes violence against women and their children, the latter remains a pressing concern in my country comprising of 76.2% of all reported cases.

Blog Catalog - Blogging for Hope
Amnesty USA - Violence Against Women
UNICEF Joint Press Release - Some of the biggest victims of domestic violence are the smallest
UNICEF Search Results on Domestic Violence

Wu Chun

2008-04-25T20:33:00.004+08:00

I just finished watching Hana Kimi Taiwan and after that, I just can't get this guy out of my head! I don't know why? I've watched Romantic Princess too, finished it months ago but I wasn't like this at all. I just thought he's a cute guy who needs more improvement in acting and that's it. But now...wow...I'm searching for his photos on the net, I even watch online videos and visit his blog checking for updates (I'm not even sure if it's really his blog). I even fantasize of meeting him personally one day. Hahaha! As if that could happen...Gosh, am I becoming a Wu Chun fanatic? It's really not in my vocabulary but I think it's happening. There are lot's of cute and handsome actors here and abroad that I always see and watch but I've never been like this to any of them. Sometimes I see them at malls doing shows or hanging out just like what ordinary people do but I don't drool over them, run after them, let them sign an autograph for me, or even get a picture taken. I just don't do it. I just ignore them. So what if you're cute or handsome? So what if you're famous? That's me...and for my age (I'm 28), to be a fanatic, too embarrassing...but with this Wu Chun guy, I think I'll loose control...I showed my mom some of his pics on the net and asked what she thought about him, she said he's "prettier" than me, hehehe, I think so too...he's pretty, not handsome, hehehe...there's just something about him...he has this cool, humble, mysterious vibe, not to mention a very angelic face to match it. And his smile...that could melt everyone's heart...gosh...I feel like a teenager, hahaha! Anyway, just want to share, don't laugh at me or anything, I'm just a fan...a first time fanatic...a new experience...

The Awakening

2008-04-22T11:10:00.000+08:00

by Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Friends

2008-04-13T12:45:00.007+08:00

My best friend sent me a text message last Friday and asked if we can go out the next day. I thought why all of a sudden? She never actually invites me to go out because she knows I'd rather stay here at home. And after the pressure from work that week, going out is not on my list, I'd rather stay here at home and relax. Anyway, I still said yes, no harm done in going to the mall, it's so near our home and I have some stuff to buy too at the grocery so might as well go. My Mom also convinced me that I should go out. She said that I might have something to e-mail my husband about when I get home. So I thought hmmm...I think they're planning something. My birthday's coming up, so I thought maybe they have a surprise for me. So Saturday came, my best friend picked me up then we went to the mall, had some chitchats, ate, went to buy what I needed to buy, then we went home. I didn't think of the surprise thing anymore because there wasn't anything special on that day. Then my best friend admitted that there should have been a surprise from my high school friends at a bar in the mall that's why she invited me to go out but unfortunately it didn't pushed through because the one who really planned it had an urgent thing to attend to. The good thing is, although their surprise for me didn't work out, at least I know they still thought of me, I really am so lucky to have such good friends. And my best friend spent the night here at home, we drank beer and had more talks, so I could say I really had a great day.

Wishlist

2008-03-28T12:52:00.005+08:00

I have this wishlist written in my Multiply blog. Just thought of doing so before the holidays last year (someone might give one to me as a Christmas gift right?). It was like my top 10 goals. Actually, two people (my best friend and step-brother) already gave me my no.2 wish as a gift for Christmas and I was so thrilled because I really didn't expect it (was going to tears of happiness when I received them).

Last week, as soon as I logged-in to chat with my husband, he asked me where my wishlist was in my Multiply site. I said it was in the blog section. I don't know why he asked but I think I already have a clue. You see, I don't have a very nice computer here at home. My old desktop PC is broken and I'm now using either my step-brother's PC or my sister's laptop. I don't have my own. And to think that I'm working as a part-time Graphic Designer, a computer is really a necessity. My husband and I were chatting about him buying me a new computer since he left. He wanted a laptop for me and I think he wanted to see my wishlist because I have a laptop posted there so that he'll know what laptop to buy. My wish was a color skyblue laptop, with specs for Graphic Design and some gaming.

I really am so excited as to what laptop he'll buy. I don't know if he can find a laptop really similar to the one posted in my wishlist but as long as it's from him, it's so ok with me. I really am so touched because he was the one who thought of buying me one. I didn't asked for it (I tend not to ask my husband for anything). He really is worried about me too. He worked overseas in the first place because the salary is much higher, he can now save some money for us to have a secure living, not worrying of the financial difficulties in life. We just both want a simple life, a simple happy family. Maybe he wants all my wishes to come true...And I want all his wishes to come true too...Oh, I love my husband so much...

Missing You

2008-03-20T12:35:00.006+08:00

I was so happy when my cousin told me you were online. It was 1am here and glad to be still awake. I really didn't expect it. I just told my best friend that I haven't talked to you since last week so I was really happy to see you, to talk to you yesterday. I knocked on my sister's door, woke her up, to borrow her laptop and webcam so you could see me too. I was panicking to set it all up. I know I should be fast because we don't have much time. I really am so happy. You were so handsome in your white shirt and cap. All the people here also had a glimpse of you and had the chance to talk to you. They all miss you so much and they were just so glad to finally be able to chat with you. I really miss you so much...I can't take you off of my head even for just one second. Seeing you yesterday really made my day. It made me think of you more...My oh so handsome husband...I wanted to hug you, I wanted to kiss you, I just wanted to be with you...Wish you were here with me...I miss you...

Longest Words

2008-03-16T10:20:00.011+08:00

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (also spelled -koniosis, 45 letters) is a lung disease caused by breathing in particles of siliceous volcanic dust. This is the longest word in any English dictionary. However, it was coined by Everett Smith, the President of The National Puzzlers' League, in 1935 purely for the purpose of inventing a new "longest word". The Oxford English Dictionary described the word as factitious. Nevertheless it also appears in the Webster's, Random House, and Chambers dictionaries.

HEPATICOCHOLANGIOCHOLECYSTENTEROSTOMIES (37 letters) is a surgical creation of a connection between the gall bladder and a hepatic duct and between the intestine and the gall bladder. This is the longest word in Gould's Medical Dictionary.

SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS (34 letters), a song title from the Walt Disney movie Mary Poppins. It is in the Oxford English Dictionary.

HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPEDALIAN (30 letters), pertaining to a very long word.
From Mrs. Byrne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure and Preposterous Words.

Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism (30 letters) is an inherited disorder that closely simulates the symptoms, but not the consequences of pseudohypoparathyroidism, thus it has mild or no manifestations of hypoparathyroidism or tetanic convulsions.

Floccinaucinihilipilification (29 letters) is an estimation of something as worthless. This is the longest word in the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. Interestingly the most common letter in English, E, does not appear in this word at all, whilst I occurs a total of nine times. The word dates back to 1741. The 1992 Guinness Book of World Records calls floccinaucinihilipilification the longest real word in the Oxford English Dictionary, and refers to pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis as the longest made-up one.

Antidisestablishmentarianism (28 letters) is the belief which opposes removing the tie between church and state. Probably the most popular of the "longest words" in recent decades.

HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS (27 letters) means honorableness. The word first appeared in English in 1599, and in 1721 was listed by Bailey's Dictionary as the longest word in English. It was used by Shakespeare in Love's Labor's Lost (Costard; Act V, Scene I):

"O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
swallowed than a flap-dragon."

Shakespeare does not use any other words over 17 letters in length.

ELECTROENCEPHALOGRAPHICALLY (27 letters), the longest unhyphenated word in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (10th Ed.), joint with ethylenediaminetetraacetate.

ANTITRANSUBSTANTIATIONALIST (27 letters), one who doubts that consecrated bread and wine actually change into the body and blood of Christ.

DISPROPORTIONABLENESS and INCOMPREHENSIBILITIES (21 letters), these are described by the 1992 Guinness Book of World Records as the longest words in common usage.

Just want to share this to everyone...Some say SMILES is the longest word because there is a MILE between the first and last letters! hahaha! Yeah right...

Transport Holiday

2008-03-11T11:20:00.003+08:00

Transport strike hits the whole country last March 11, Tuesday, due to oil price increase. Classes were suspended, and a number of people especially workers who commute daily to their jobs got affected.

It's a good thing I don't have work that day and my sister got home safely but she really had a hard time commuting. The transport groups had a quiet protest to address their needs to the government through this transport holiday. Oil prices increase and increase and they say it will still increase before the year ends. The oil companies say they can't do anything about it also because of the spiraling cost of crude and petroleum products in the international market.

This means everything will also go up. All the prices, especially food, will all go up. Last Monday, the cheapest rice in the store I buy is P25, but now it's already P27. I remember last year I can already buy enough of groceries for P500-P1000, all for food here in the house, but now, I can't buy enough for the same price!

I just wish the government will do something about this rather than spending time getting money in their pockets from Chinese companies.

Rainfall

2008-03-08T11:08:00.009+08:00

As the rain starts to fall

Just staring at the dark wall
Trying so hard to hide the pain
Thinking soon you'll come home again...

As the rain starts to fall
Hoping the days would quickly roll
Will do everything, whatever way
Just to forget that you've gone away...

As the rain starts to fall
That handsome smile I last saw
Trying so hard to suppress the feeling
Just not to see the heart aching...

As the rain starts to fall
Seems like the heavens call
With the dark sky and winds cold
Seems like it wants something to be told...

As the rain starts to fall
Still staring at the dark wall
Suddenly tears fell from my eyes
As the rain falls, I silently cried...

I wrote this poem when my husband just left...Originally, this poem was written in my native language, I just translated it to English for everyone to understand...

Panasonic VS6

2008-03-02T11:57:00.009+08:00

Not like other cellphone owners who use the most famous brands like Nokia, I decided to buy a different brand just to be unique from all of them. I bought a Panasonic VS6 from my Mom's friend 3 years ago which I didn't even know existed at that time. I didn't know that there was a Panasonic cellphone, I thought they only sell appliances. Anyway, it was a really nice flip-top camera phone, with features that I think exceeded top brands like Nokia at that time, it was cheaper and brand new. I even had a discount buying it. Main features include:

2 megapixel camera with 5x digital zoom and photo editor
Video camera
Display: TFT, 16 million colours, 320 x 240 pixels
40-voice polyphonic MP3 ringtones
Messaging: SMS, MMS
Games: Sonic the Hedgehog, 3D Football, plus downloadable Java games
Connectivity: Bluetooth, InfraRed
WAP, GPRS class 10
Memory: 32 Mbytes
Vibration alert
Size: 96 x 46 x 21 mm
Weight: 101g
Talk time: 2 - 8 hours
Battery standby: 150 - 430 hours
Triband

Pretty neat huh? I'm still using it right now and it still looks and feels brand new (I really know how to take care of my stuff). I want to stick with this phone, I love it (my husband bought it as a gift for my birthday that time) and I don't want to buy a new one anymore, but I'm having quite a little problem with it right now. The battery broke months ago (after 3 years! and my Mom said I should change batteries after a year...) and I don't know where to buy a new one. I already searched cellphone shops, every mall, every Panasonic outlet, every Panasonic appliance store (thinking maybe they have the battery I needed) here in the city where I live in but to no avail. Then there's the internet from where I searched for the website of Panasonic here in my country. I found their site, then found their Customer Service e-mail after hours of browsing, contacted them and they responded fast. They told me where their Part-Sales office is located which is where I can buy the said battery and the price. Problem solved? No...because their Part-Sales office is located in another city far from where I am. Yes, I can commute there (2 hours approximately) but I still have to search for the exact place and I'm bad at that. I'm familiar with the city, I know how to get there, but I don't know how to get to their exact address! I e-mailed them again asking if I can order the said battery online (ordering locally then shipping it is cheaper than ordering internationally, so I don't have to go to their office anymore) or do they have any other shop, store, outlet near my home where I can purchase the battery. They responded and said that I can't purchase it online, and that the said Part-Sales office is the one and only place where I can buy the battery I needed. And I thought "Huh?!". What if I live in another region? I still have to fly to where the Parts-Sales office is just to buy the battery? Wow...very poor customer service...Maybe they only have satisafactory service(s) with regards to their appliances. It was just too bad...Very unlucky for me...Now I don't know if I just have to go there (and suffer the hassles of finding the place), order internationally online (and suffer the high costs esp. shipping charges, and risk being a victim of online scammers) or just get rid of my cellphone and buy a new one with the same features (maybe Nokia because it's everywhere! I surely wouldn't have any problems like this with this brand). In any way, I'm surely going to spend over my budget, just have to go with the option where I can spend less. This is just the real disadvantage of a not so famous cellphone brand compared to the likes of Nokia, Motorolla and Samsung...the parts are hard to find (in my country), and I'm facing that right now...Maybe if this cellphone breaks/crashes/had malfunctions, I wouldn't be surprised if the cellphone repair shops here wouldn't even know how to fix this...

Far Away

2008-03-01T22:03:00.007+08:00

Last February 28th was one of the saddest days of my entire life. At 3am in the morning, me and my in-laws accompanied my husband to the airport. His flight was at 6:30am in the morning going to another country. He's going to work abroad for 6 months and I'm not going to see him until then. It could be longer than 6 months if he decides to work for another month or so if the company approves so that he could be home with us in time for Christmas. I was so sad, about to cry, but hid my feelings. I know his parents felt the same way. He too felt the same way but he didn't show. He just gave me a cute smile before he walked through that airport door...

That morning was so cold and then the rain started to fall as we were going home after dropping him to the airport. Everyone was so quiet inside the van. When we got home, we got ready to sleep again but now I was all alone in this dark room. I was staring at the wall, lying in bed, thoughts running through my head, having mixed emotions. Then it hit me, everything just sinked in, tears fell from my eyes, my husband isn't by my side. I silently cried that night, was about to make a noise, but then somehow still composed myself to stop crying and thought positively. First, I didn't want to wake up my in-laws because of my crying and I don't want them to be worried. I want them to see me strong and that I am just alright. Second, I want to be strong for my husband. I know he's sad too, I saw it in his eyes, and he cried when I cried the other day (read post "Tears"). So I want to be strong so that he could be strong too. I want him to be inspired and not to be down. That even though we're apart, even if we just talk in Yahoo Messenger, even if there's no cuddling, kissing or any physical contact, we could at least be happy. I know he did this for us, for our future, and I know sacrifices should be made to achieve what we both want. I just tell myself that time flies so fast and that 6 months will just quickly pass then he'll come home and we'll be together again...

Last night I got to chat with my husband. He already arrived at his destination. He was staying in a hotel and he was so relieved that there was free internet there that he contacted me right away even though he was still tired from the trip. We chatted again today and he just texted me on my cellphone a while ago that he already started work and to tell the news to his parents.

It's just been 2 days but we already miss each other so much...I know we just have to be strong and endure the pain in our hearts. I pray that "He" will take care of him and I know "He" surely will, that's all I ask. Yes, he's so far away physically, but in my heart, he's just there and he will forever be here with me...

Tears

2008-02-23T20:08:00.005+08:00

As I was lying in bed, getting ready to sleep, while watching my husband's face, tears suddenly fell from my eyes. I've been trying to be strong not to cry and be sad but at that moment when I touched his face I cried. I tried to stop but couldn't. I cried so hard. In our quiet, dark room all I can hear is my sniffing. I backed away and just stared at the wall while crying. Just thinking that he's going away soon and that we'll never see each other for quite some time makes me so sad. Then my husband hugged me, I cried even harder, I really couldn't stop. Then I heard him sniffing. Maybe he's crying too. I wanted to face him but didn't. When I had the courage to face him, he hid his face from me. He didn't want me to see him crying. I know he's sad too. I know he's going to miss me too. But we can't do anything. We just have to be strong. He's going away for us too, for our future...

False Alarm

2008-02-21T18:28:00.003+08:00

You know, my husband and I had a relationship for 8 years before we got married. We are now married for a year, going 2 years on October, a total of 10 years altogether. And within this relationship, we've never experienced what other partners, boyfriend/girlfriend had experienced: that is the fear of being pregnant. Because when we started to do the deed premaritally, we were already taught to use contraceptives. My family is so open that my mom actually introduced me to pills when she knew that I wasn't a virgin anymore. She was just being practical and open too because a lot of women (especially teens) get pregnant just like that. She just wants to be sure that I won't get pregnant at that time because I wasn't ready yet, we (my boyfriend, now husband, and I) were not ready yet (although we weren't teenagers anymore). So I continued to use the pills up to a time that my boyfriend (now husband) said that I should already stop. He feared that I might not get pregnant anymore when the time comes because of that. So I stopped then he used the condom. We used this contraceptive method until we got married. From that time up to now, we never ever used any contraceptives anymore, of course, because we already want to start a family. We've been trying and trying, but up to now, going 2 years married, I'm not pregnant yet. I thought I was pregnant when my period didn't arrive on the expected date (last Feb. 18). I have regular menstruation (last period was Jan. 21). But as my husband and I were strolling the mall today, my period came. I was about to buy a pregnancy test kit for crying out loud! I really was expecting "this is it!". I was praying too. But sadly, a false alarm...Darn! My husband is going away to work abroad next Thursday and we will not see each other for 6 months! I want to be pregnant so that he'll be inspired and happy even though we're not together because we're going to have a baby. I know he already wants one so badly. I really want to have a baby too, my own child...but it didn't happen...When will it happen?!

Valentine's Day Group Date

2008-02-16T09:20:00.005+08:00

Well, my husband and I went out with some friends and family last Valentine's Day, February 14th. All in all there were 18 of us. Some didn't have partners, some have. We met up in a music bar (The Big Grill) and just drank. Conversations here and there. Everyone was chilling. At first, we were inside the bar then we transferred to the tables outside so that we can all smoke freely. Still drinking, we played spin the bottle (imagine 20+ year olds playing that) and really had a laugh. We met some new friends there too (friends of my step-brother). Everyone was just enjoying the company of each other. It didn't matter if some didn't have partners that day, they have the company of their friends, we were there for them to share Valentine's Day, so it was really nice. We got home by 2am and I was so drunk. I slept the whole time in the car going home, then just dropped in the bed without changing clothes. I had to come to the office early in the morning (for my part-time job) but can't really (as in literally) get up! I just told my husband to call the office that I can't get there because I'm really not feeling well. I was just in the room all day yesterday, that's how bad I was feeling. But although I'm not ok the next day, at least we had a great Valentine's Day, and that's what counts, I don't go out that often you know...

Holy Week

2008-02-11T14:40:00.006+08:00

Holy week this year (2008) is from March 16th to March 22nd. I was very curious as to how do they determine when this week is so I searched for answers on the web. Below is what I found.

According to the English book of Common Prayer, "Easter Day is the first Sunday after the full moon which happens upon, or next after the 21st day of March; and if the full moon happens upon a Sunday, Easter Day is the Sunday after."

Why such an odd definition? March 21 is the vernal equinox -- the day on which the length of daylight equals the length of darkness as the days are lengthening in the spring. The traditional Jewish calendar is based on moon phases, which is how the phase of the moon enters into the definition -- when they were determining what day Easter would fall on, they deferred to the Jewish practice of using moon phases to decide the timing of holidays.

Using this method, Easter can only occur between March 22 and April 25. -Howstuffworks.com

The full moon this year is March 21st (I really looked at the calendar to know if this is accurate) so Easter Sunday is March 22nd and the whole week including Easter Sunday is the holy week. All I can say is "oh..ah..(nodding)". Now I know...

I was just really curious because every year holy week falls on different dates. My birthday's April 15th and my mom told me I was born in a holy week, and as I was growing up, my birthday always falls on a holy week. It's ok if my birthday's Easter Sunday, but the worse days would be from Holy Thursday to Black Saturday, I cannot celebrate. Especially if you live in a very religious catholic country.

A Lion on the Loose!

2008-02-05T18:44:00.003+08:00

I was walking down the street when I saw lion chained on the neck in front of a big white house. I stopped for a moment and was shocked because how could anyone have a lion as a pet? I looked at him and he growled and growled, he was so mad as soon as he saw me. I walked passed him even though I was so scared, thinking he was tightly chained so it was safe to pass by. Still walking down the street, as I was turning on the curve, I hear this growling again getting louder and louder. Suddenly, a lion jumped over and landed on a boulder in front of me. I was so scared while looking at him. He was searching for someone. Then as soon as he saw me, he jumped down the boulder then chased me. I was running for my life! We were just circling on the same area, running and running. I don't want to be eaten alive, I don't want to die! The police came but they couldn't do anything. I was so scared, heart beating so fast and was bathed with sweat. I still ran and ran, then all of a sudden the lion became a man while chasing me. He looked like a wild man, with long hair, tattoos, he looked like he haven't had a shower his entire life. Just think of a lion that became a man. Fierce eyes, sharp teeth, still a lion but in a man's body. I was still running for my life! And the worst part is, that wild man duplicated, now there were two of them chasing after me. I don't know what to do anymore, I was so tired. But as soon as I was giving up, my husband came and saved me. He wore a white coat and red tie, he was so handome. The wild man just vanished in thin air after my husband defeated him. The other one ran away and never came back.

Then I woke up! Crazy dream huh? A nightmare! It was really scary...good thing my husband was there, if it weren't for him, maybe I didn't wake up anymore...

Golden Rules of Living

2008-01-29T14:38:00.001+08:00

When I was a child, I used to always see this wooden frame hanging on the wall at the dining area. Me, my sister and step-siblings grew up in my step-grandparent's home (step-grandparents because they're my step-dad's parents) and they were so strict about following the rules that they always let us read (esp. when we did something wrong) and do what was written on that wooden frame. All of us kids at the house always see it that we eventually memorized what was written on it. I searched the internet when I remembered and found the "Golden Rules of Living".

If you open it, close it.

If you turn it on, turn it off.

If you unlock it, lock it up.

If you break it, admit it.

If you can’ fix it, call in someone who can.

If you borrow it, return it.

If you value it, take care of it.

If you make a mess, clean it up.

If you move it, put it back.

If it belongs to someone else and you

want to use it, get permission.

If you don’t know how to operate it,

leave it alone.

If it’s none of your business, don’t

ask questions.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

If it will brighten someone’s day, say it.

If it will tarnish someone’s reputation,

keep it to yourself.

These were all written in that wooden frame. I grew up following these rules, and I'm unconsciously living by it (just found out about that now when I read these rules again). Maybe I should post these here in the house, it's so badly needed...

Dreams

2008-01-22T15:11:00.002+08:00

I had these dreams the other night that made me wake up twice. I remember the dreams but not every detail. The first dream I had was about my dead younger brother. He died of heart attack, or something like that, when he was only 13 yrs. old, Nov. 25th 2001 to be exact. In my dream, the doctor in the hospital said that he'll live but will be like a vegetable for the rest of his life, but he still died in my dream eventually after days or months. The next dream I had was about my husband. All the people in the house knew that he's dead except for me and they all didn't want to tell me that he died. I was waiting and waiting for him to come home.

I don't know what these dreams mean. I think I dreamed about my younger brother because I miss him. I think he just wanted to tell me that if he didn't died that day, he would just suffer. I sometimes wonder what he would be like if he's still around. And when I think of him, I cry sometimes. I have lot's of regrets, that I should have done this and that when he was still alive. About my husband, on the other hand, maybe my dream just means that I'm too afraid to lose him. Maybe the people in my dream didn't tell me he was dead because they know I'll be very very hurt if I knew. But in reality, I want to know even if it hurts so much.

Bad dreams huh? I rarely have dreams but these in one night? Gosh...I don't want to think about it anymore!

Heaven

2008-01-18T08:11:00.000+08:00

He sleeps late. Wakes up after lunch. Watches TV as soon as his eyes open. Eats lunch. Watches TV again. Play with his PSP. Play at the PC. Doodle with his cellphone. Watches TV again. Eats dinner. Plays again. Watches DVDS. Plays again until 4AM. This is his everyday routine when he's not busy with his girlfriend.

At 22, he's a super bum with nothing to do. He doesn't even think of anything. He doesn't go to school, he doesn't want to work, and he can't even help out in the house. He doesn't think of what will happen to his life if he continues to be like this. I don't know why he's like that. I don't know what he's thinking, especially when I talk to him, sermon him about certain things. Everyone in the house works hard, he's the only one who doesn't do anything. It's really a pain in the eye seeing him like this.

I think the only thing he's good at is going to heaven. He doesn't even have a single touch of shame when he does this. Even when my mom's home, whether there are many or few people in the house, he does this, "they" do this, going to heaven. I'm not saying don't do it, I've been there, I know. But there are certain things in life that you have to be discreet about. You don't have to show off these kind of things, and I always tell him that.

I'm just too concerned. I love him that's why I always do sermons. I don't know if he listens to what I always tell him. I don't know if he thinks about what I say to him. But the longer he does this routine and goes up there in heaven without shame, the higher is his fall. I know he'll slip and fall down. And when that happens, that's the time he'll learn his lesson. All the things that I or other concerned people said to him will come back. But it'll be too late...

Christmas 2007

2008-01-13T19:48:00.003+08:00

Well, Christmas was great! It was the first time that everyone in the house had gifts for everyone too. The Christmas tree had so many gifts under it and it was just so nice to see. Even though all of us here in the house don't have enough money, we still gave each other presents. My husband and I spent Christmas Eve with his parents, after that, instead of sleeping there (which we always do), he decided that we come home. It was the first time too that this happened. I think last Christmas was the best. My mom and sister said that there was something last Christmas that was very peaceful. Everyone's happy and content.

Anyway, I received lot's of gifts! hahaha! Which I didn't expect. I had new slippers, chocolates, etc., but the best was the two USB Flash Drives that I got given by my best friend and step-brother. I was really touched and was teary-eyed when I opened their presents. It was in my wish list posted in a social networking page and they both noticed.

Really, Christmas was so great! It wasn't the gifts that made it very special. It was the people I was with and their happy faces. I will not forget Christmas 2007, the most memorable, happiest and peaceful Christmas of all.

It's Christmas and I'm Broke

2007-12-18T11:00:00.001+08:00

Christmas shopping here and there. Buying lot's of Christmas gifts for everyone. Christmas parties galore. And you can't do it all because you're broke!

Gosh! It's Christmas and I don't have any money. My wallet's empty and I only have some coins in my coin purse! What will I do? I want to buy gifts for my loved ones and godchildren, and I have a Christmas party to attend to on the 22nd (exchange gift needed and food to bring). I need money to do all that. I don't care if I can't buy anything for myself, all I'm thinking is them: my family, godchildren, my best friend and the Christmas party. At the very least, I should give them something, anything. Cheap yet useful (that I know they're going to like/love) is good. It's the thought that counts right? I know I can find something, I just need the money.

Anyway, it's a good thing that an angel helped me. Yes, just to buy gifts, I'm in debt now! But it's ok. Christmas is just once a year, a season when we drown ourselves with alcohol, food and parties with friends and loved ones. It's also the season when we spend too much and prices go high (that's why a lot of people are in debt). Well, at least for me, my debt is not too big, I can pay it within 2 working days on January. I hate debt and I only borrow small amounts to someone very close and pay them back asap. It's just that I really need it now and I don't have the money, that's why I did it.

Well, I hope you wouldn't be in a situation like this. The smart thing to do is always stick to your budget. That way, you wouldn't need to borrow money from anyone. And always remember that expensive is not always good. Christmas gifts are cherished not because of it's price, but because it came from you. Happy Holidays everyone!

Sisters

2007-12-12T18:11:00.001+08:00

I have a sister, were the only two children of our parents. I'm two years older than her. We don't have anything in common. We're very different from each other, really opposites. I think the only thing that's common about us is that our names are the months of our birthdays (aside from blood relation). I'm A, she's J. I remember when we were kids, we used to fight about a lot of little things. It continued until high school but it gradually subsided because we were becoming more mature.

When we fight, she's the one who's shouting and shouting and saying a lot of bad things, her mouth just won't stop cursing, then I just kick her ass when fed up. But even though she's hurt and crying, she still wouldn't stop shouting and cursing. Oh...the memories, hehehe. Our Mom used to tell us that when we were little, I was the outgoing and confident one and my sister was the shy, quiet type. But now, it's the other way around. Do you remember the movie "Practical Magic"? Witch Sisters who stars Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock? or the movie "In Her Shoes" who stars Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette. I can say we're like them, I'm Sandra Bullock or Toni Collette and my sister's Nicole Kidman or Cameron Diaz, hahaha! Get the picture?

Anyway, even though we don't have anything in common, we're still sisters. Even though we don't bond that much, there's still something strong that binds us together. When someone messes with the other or has some problems, we help or comfort each other. Maybe that's why they say "Blood is thicker than water" right?

Christmas Decors

2007-12-09T13:53:00.001+08:00

Ah...Sunday, what a nice day. The sun's shining and the wind's blowing. A very great day to relax and be with your family...

Christmas is fast approaching and we just started putting Christmas decorations. We finished putting-up the Christmas tree. I was the one in-charge of the trimmings. Everyone helped out. All the people in the house had exerted effort today. They all did their assigned chores: cleaning, scrubbing, etc. before putting Christmas decors. My mom wanted everything cleaned that's why. She went out today to buy more trimmings for the Christmas tree because I told her so. Our tree is like 6ft. (or more) tall and the trimmings are so few to make it look very nice. I also told her to buy white Christmas lights for the tree. She wants blue because the Christmas balls are blue (it's our favorite color and it's the motiff) but I told her that white is better. We're also going to place wreaths in doors and Christmas lights outside.

Time flies so fast..It's only 16 days before Christmas. Have you finished decorating? Have you planned the menu for Noche Buena? Have you bought gifts for everyone? I haven't but will do soon. Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Valid IDs

2007-12-05T21:33:00.001+08:00

Have gone early morning today to get some valid IDs and other important documents that I know I'll need in the future. Applied for government IDs which I have to pick-up at later dates and got a certified true copy of our marriage license and other documents. At this age, I don't have any valid ID except for the company ID that I have from my part-time work. I wasn't even thinking of getting those, I didn't think that I would need them. Now I know they're very important, both for job and identification purposes. At least, now I'm ready, I have them, and wouldn't worry anymore about these things. I've learned my lesson. Next stop would be getting my transcript of records.

Part-Time Work

2007-12-03T20:47:00.001+08:00

Just got home from my part-time work today. My boss' Senior Project Coordinator texted me on my cell yesterday if I could come to the office today to do a mock web design for his company in the province. I have no idea as to what this company is all about. The Senior Project Coordinator just told me to look-up some training company sites and see what links they have. I did my homework of course. When I got to the office, I asked the Senior Project Coordinator if they have a logo of the said company, because I use the colors of a company logo if I do mock web designs, but they don't have one. Anyway, I did what I have to do and uploaded it to their domain so that my boss, who's out of the country, could check it out.

I only do static websites by the way. And I'm a part-time Graphic Designer in this company. I think the mock-up I did was ok, but wasn't satisfied because the design is broken when loaded in Firefox, it only looks good in IE. I know, I know. I should have tested it in different browsers. But the office computer only has IE and besides it's only a mock-up, I don't even know yet if it's a go or a no. If it's a go, then I'll do the necessary adjustments especially with browser compatibility, hehehe...

Toothache | Job Interview

2007-12-02T12:04:00.001+08:00

I've been crying for two nights now because of this wretched toothache! It's the first time that I had this and really don't know what to do. It's my upper right wisdom tooth that's aching so much. I drank pain relievers like Ponstan 500mg but it wasn't working, so I drank another 500mg then it worked. I was so afraid of eating and don't know where to chew the food because I also have a tooth problem on the lower left part. And the worst part is I had a job interview the next morning!

I looked so sick and the right part of my face was somewhat swollen but it didn't stop me in going to my job interview. I already made a commitment that I'm coming so I came. I was there by 10:30am and then started to answer some written tests. The editor-in-chief was going out after lunch so when I finished the tests at 12:30pm she already interviewed me. I thought that was that, then I could go home, that is also why I didn't take lunch or a break. But I was wrong, there were lots more tests to take then another interview by the assistant editor-in-chief and the webmaster. I finished like 5:30pm, was so so hungry, and tired (I don't know why I got tired). It really was a mind-blowing day for me. I just kept saying to myself, "I can do this!".

In the News

2007-11-29T17:02:00.001+08:00

Another bad day. There's a storm here, it's been raining the whole day and it's so cold. But the thing that makes this day really bad is in the news. The headline: a coup in the country's financial district. The news is on the whole day. There are soldiers, guns, tanks and everyone is just so afraid. It's a good thing that I'm not there, I don't work there, I don't live there and any other way near there to witness all of that live! It has just been a month ago when the Glorietta Mall blast happened, then a bombing occured in the House of Representatives, and now this?! Wow...why do all of these things happen? Is it because of the government? Politics? Yes, politics...as always. Different views, different beliefs, and fighting for those things that they believe in without thinking of the innocent people that would get hurt in the process. I really don't get it. I don't understand...

Simplicity is Beauty

2007-11-28T15:11:00.001+08:00

When I was in high school, only a small percentage of female students wear make-up on their faces everyday, but now almost all girls starting the age of 14 wear make-up to school. Maybe because they think that wearing make-up will make them pretty. And maybe it's also because of what they see on tv, magazines, etc. that they think are pretty. Coming from a conservative culture and country, I'm so shocked with what is happening to young girls today (especially in my country). They don't only wear make-up, they also wear high heels, revealing clothes, and they think they're already adults. That is also why a lot of them engage in premarital sex and accidentally get pregnant these days.

I don't know what is happening, all I can say is, they all should enjoy their teens first. They'll eventually go to the next stage after that. They shouldn't hurry. And they don't have to wear make-up just to be pretty because all of us are beautiful in their own way, inside and out. Being simple and being yourself are the ones that count which makes you pretty and unique, not the chemicals you put on your face.